Tired

It’s not that I have trouble sleeping, I just don’t. Sleep, that is. When I eventually go to bed I fall asleep almost instantly, which my mother claims is not very good for you since you need some time to let yourself unwind, and is a sign that I’m suffering from exhaustion. I don’t know if that’s true, but as it stands, I sleep no more than 7 hours, and when I go to bed late usually less than that. When I wake up I am perhaps unable, but probably unwilling to go back to sleep. As a result I often feel very tired, and I’m not even sure if I really know what it feels like to be rested. I’m getting used to the constant inability to concentrate, the deteriorated short term memory and the nagging discomfort (especially when I should be feeling comfortable, because I might fall asleep at any moment. The more comfort, the less comfortable.) I have to trick my body into staying awake by constantly moving. That’s not easy when you have a sedentary job. Whenever I feel my eyelids getting heavy, I do fourty push-ups to get my blood flowing and I continue working. All that and still I refuse to sleep. Even now, it’s almost three and I know I’ll probably get about five hours of sleep, but still I just don’t feel like going. I literally have to force myself, which is exactly what I’m about to do. Here goes…