Films

Constantine [2005]

Director: Francis Lawrence
Actor: Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Djimon Hounsou, Tilda Swinton, Peter Stormare

Wow. I really liked this film. Sure, some might complain that it doesn’t follow the Hellblazer comics religiously, and that John Constantine should’ve been a scoucer, but fuck all of that. From all accounts they kept the character very true to the spirit of the character in the comic. So there, let’s not waste any more breathe on that subject any more.

John Constantine is a modern-day warlock who goes around the world banishing demons back to hell. As a young boy he was gifted with the ability to see the demons and angels roaming amongst humanity, influencing humanity and not understanding what he was seeing or why, and not getting anything but misunderstanding from his parents and peers, he commits suicide. He was dead for two whole minutes, and thus his soul was in hell, where all suicidals go. He was revived, but his soul was forever doomed to go hell upon his eventual death, unless he redeemed himself. And so he redeemed himself. Over and over again, banishing demons left, right and center, trying to get into good graces again. Sadly, he hasn’t been able to, and it’s made him very jaded and cynical, but he’s not given up.

Angela is a police officer, and the other half of a pair of twins, the other of which has just committed suicide, damning her soul to an afterlife of damnation. Being a devout Catholic and thus knowing full-well what she was bringing upon herself, her sister is suspicious of the circumstances under which her “suicide” occured. Her inquiries are the start of a rollercoaster ride that lead to the birth into our world of the biggest deamon of all; Lucifer’s son, the anti-Christ.

I just love these In Nomine type movies and as with The Prophecy, I highly recommend this film!

Saw [2004]

Director: James Wan
Actor: Danny Glover, Ken Leung, Cary Elwes, Tobin Bell

This movie got a lot of hype on this website before it came out in the United States, and I was very eager to see it. Having seen it, I was satisfied for what it was, though not as satisfied as I expected I would be. Don’t get me wrong, good film, and definitely worth the price of admission, but it’s no Se7en, although it does have that very same atmosphere.

I used to watch anything with a serial killer in it. Millenium, Profiler, Kiss the Girls (also starring Elwes, by the way), and more of the sort. This film fits really well; serial killer mastermind sets up an elaborate way for his victims to kill themselves, presenting them with death or a horrible alternatives to death, from which they can pick themselves (much like Se7en). Two men find themselves locked in a dirty public bathroom, chained to rusted pipes, with one assignment; kill the other before the clock strikes n, or be killed.

I thought the cinematography was really very good – especially for a relatively inexperienced director – and the mood was set very well. Acting-wise it wasn’t the best performance I’ve seen, but not terrible.

Blade: Trinity [2004]

Director: David S. Goyer
Actor: Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Dominic Purcell, Ryan Reynolds, Jessica Biel, Parker Posey, James Remar

Let me start out that I’m a big fan of the Blade films, so far. I loved the first one, I dug the second one, and the third and most recent one, Blade: Trinity, was very enjoyable. There’s a definite downward trend in the storylines and atmosphere of the movies, but each film has something unique. The first film had that desolate bleakness, the second film had Guillermo Del Toro ( read: oodles of style ) and this last one had…Ryan Reynolds and Parker Posey – a porneaux name, if ever I heard one.

Parker Posey played the evil mastermind behind the entire plot, and was fantastically silly, and Ryan Reynolds was just fantastic. I don’t know who he is, or what he’s done so far, but he’s a good looking, wise-cracking vampire hunter that brought a much needed dose of comedy and some talent to a film overrun with overactors.

The story is simple; a couple of vampires manage to find the tomb of Dracula, the first vampire to ever exist. They awaken him in order to take it up with Blade, the vampire’s nemesis. Meanwhile, Blade is having some trouble with the Feds ( enter James Remar, w00t! ) because they finally found out about him and his clandestine vampire hunting operations. Whistler gets geeked by the feds in a nightly raid on Blade’s pad, and Blade is captured. He is then rescued by the Nightstalkers, a anti-vampire guerilla cell made up of young people under the leadership of Hannibal King ( Ryan Reynolds ) and Abigail Whistler ( Jessica Biel ), Whistler’s daughter. Reluctant at first, Blade decides to team up in order to defeat Dracula.

Oh, and Dracula is a ruggedly handsome vampire with the ability to elongate his fingers. Ladies…spot the potential.

Ladder 49 [2004]

Director: Jay Russell
Actor: Joaquin Phoenix, Jacinda Barrett, John Travolta, Robert Patrick

Whenever I find myself at home alone, having shamelessly downloaded a film, watching it on the sneak, hoping the RIAA (or whatever the cinema-equivalent is) doesn’t come busting down my door, I always get what I have over the years called the coach-class effect. Whenever I fly, you see, and I’m watching a film on the little screen mounted in the seat in front of me, that’s all I focus on. It’s all I hear, it’s all I see. I find I can concentrate quite well when I’m in an aeroplane. The same goes for when I’m at home watching something on my computer screen. I sit so close that I get completely immersed in whatever I’m watching, be it a television show, feature film, documentary or a music video.

And it usually leaves me incredibly emotional, and this time was no exception.

I’ve heard this film described by some of my friends who’ve seen it in the cinema, as a festering piece of escrement. Perhaps it was the coach-effect, but I have to disagree. While it certainly wasn’t a milestone in cinematic history, nor was depth or realism very pervasive elements in Jay Russell’s rather rookie attempt at cinematics, but the film left me with something else; an monumental feeling of worthlessness.

You see, I’ve helped my fair share of people with advice, services, favours, money, or whatever else I was able to afford them, but I’ve never really done anything selfless, courageous and brave. And it seems that this little superhero-wannabe ( read: me ) is convinced that all of that is what it takes to become a truly good human being.

Coffee and Cigarettes [2003]

Director: Jim Jarmusch

What. A. Waste. Of. Time