Journal

So, when he was discharged from the hospital we got the info that it was going to take several months for him to die. On monday we heard it wasn’t several months, but no more than two weeks before he died. Today I get the call that it’s going to happen tomorrow. At least he won’t have to suffer any longer.

.: Swimming
So I just went swimming again, after a long absence of doing anything physically. I stopped Kung Fu due to my parents’ illness, and the desire to go swimming kind of went away on its own. The reason why I couldn’t bring up Kung Fu is because I train at a school in the town where my parents live, which is about an hour north of Amsterdam. If I am to go there during the week, or in the weekends, I can’t bring myself to go and teach or train instead of visiting my terminally ill parents. If it was one parent that was ill, it’d be one thing, but it’s both of them, and my father will most likely die in the next few weeks, so I just can’t do that.

I have, however, found myself strangely lacking in the discipline department lately. I’m low on energy, and easily tired. I’m also getting out of shape, and it’s going at a rate that one goes out of shape when coming to a full stop after a decade-and-a-half of excercise; fast. Arguably, I’m going through a bit of a rough time right now with my parents, and as a result of that, and the fact that I’m low on energy, I can find myself responding more emotionally, and more dramatically than I think I normally would. (Normally being a relative term to use, here, of course. It’s not every day that I get to lose both my parents.) I think that the excercise I’m getting from swimming regularly (two or three mornings a week), will help me regain the strength and energy I need to deal with this without turning into an emotional trainwreck every time something bad happens.

I did well, and did my regular routine without any trouble. I think I took a bit more time than I normally do, however, but that’s to be expected after letting yourself go like that. Moulsari helped me get up, for which I’m very grateful. It’s funny how an extra hour of sleep makes all the difference, but it makes all the difference in those thirty seconds it takes to open your eyes and get out of bed. I’m good once both my feet or on the ground. :)

.: Mother
Today my mother will be admitted to the hospital here in the Amsterdam (VU), and tomorrow she will undergo the brainsurgery necessary to remove the cancer from her head. She’s nervous, as can be expected, but from what I can see she’s doing well. I’ll call somewhere today to figure out when I can come and see her tonight. That reminds me, I also should call my father to see how he’s doing.

.: UFC
I’ve been enjoying UFC a lot lately. I’m watching the backepisodes, all the way from UFC 58 to UFC 70…or at least the ones I’ve missed over the past couple of months that I’ve been watching it. The episodes previous to 58 are kind of hard to get. Thanks to Dennis I could also get my hands on UFC 61, with the controversial second victory of Ortiz over Shamrock. I’m actually getting kind of interested in checking out BJJ, but a cursory glance at the availability of it shows no dedicated schools in the vicinity of Amsterdam.

I remember having a conversation with Josh and Frank when Josh was over a few months ago, and they both thought UFC was boring, because it ends on the ground a lot. It is undoubtedly my own limitations, but I can’t imagine why anyone would hate the versatility and options presented to the fighters. I enjoy a good stand-up fight, but a great submission, choke, slam, lock or tap-out is fine by me, too. The fighters need to be so much more than just kickboxers in order to survive even one five-minute round. It’s also a far more realistic way in which a battle is conducted. Granted, since its inception, the UFC has seen more and more rules (like barring eye-gouging and attacks to the crotch, as well as weight-classes), but it’s still far more realistic than, say, K1 or kickboxing. Pancrase, Pride, UFC, Vale Tudo, I’d much rather watch (or do) something as dynamic as that than watch boxing, kickboxing, karate or tae kwon do. To each his own, I guess.

.: Heroes
Last night I watched the last episode of the first season of Heroes. I loved it, but my love for this show has been pretty consistent throughout the season, so that’s nothing new. There were some glaring inconsistencies (which could be explained away by an apologist, so they’re not that bad), and they set everything up for a good next season. The dying of certain characters was a bit shitty, I would’ve loved to see all of them back in the next season, but I’m sure that if they keep up the quality, I’ll forget about the dead ones three seconds into the first episode of season two.

I got the feeling that they were still tweaking the story a bit throughout the first season, to see what their target audience was responding to, or perhaps it was their attempt to solidly introduce each character, but only near the end of the season, around episode 17 or 18 did it seem like they were really taking off with the overall story. I guess with the introduction as Malcolm McDowell as Mr. Linderman the story really started to take shape. I’m sure that season two is going to be a lot better structured.

I highly recommend this show. I love it about as much as I love The West Wing.

I just got a call; while my father is not in any pain (due to the morphine), he’s deteriorating very fast, and will most likely slip into a coma somewhere between now and two weeks, at which time it will be up to me to decide to terminate his life. My selfish side says that his suffering should take longer, because I get to see him more, but my altruistic side says that if he is to die, it might as well be sooner rather than later.

.: Headache
This weekend was kind of sucky, as I was afflicted by a massive, multi-day spanning headache that I couldn’t shake until late last night.

.: World Press Photo ’07
On saturday afternoon, despite my headache, I made it to the World Press Photo exhibition at the Nieuwe Kerk in Amsterdam. I love going there each year, but I completely missed it in 2006, so I was determined to go in 2007. The photos were powerful and awe inspiring as they always are, and the topics were more diverse than they had been over the last few years. There was only one section dedicated to the war in Iraq, which surprised me, but there were sections on sport, war in Lebanon, climate change effects in Africa, poverty (in Chicago), hunger in Africa, and breakdancing. Powerful, invoking positive as well as negative emotions. Beautiful.

.: Dennis’ Birthday Present
However, besides that it was cool, because I finally got to give Dennis his birthday present, which was the culmination of weeks of organising, hindered by finding a good company to do what we wanted to do, get the funds together by convincing Dennis’ friends that they should participate, scheduling things, and scheduling problems due to illness. Yesterday, Dennis, Richard and I drove to Lelystad Airport and even up until the point where we walked in the aeroplane hangar he wasn’t entirely sure what his birthday present was. When I told him, he was very pleasantly surprised, and very happy with his gift. We sat out in the sun while we waited for his instructor and talked about all kinds of things as we watched planes fly by. The weather was nice so we were all in relatively good spirits (damned headache!) Then the instructor came, who was a nice elderly man with a lot of pazzaz who calmly explained to us which figures Dennis would do while in the air. It was so obvious he loved aerobatics, and his enthusiasm rubbed off on us. By the time he was done telling us which figures and how many G-forces Dennis would have to endure, I was even more jealous than before.

Richard and I got to watch the aeroplane do its acrobatics while sitting in the sun. It looked like a little hornet going every which way with amazing speed and agility. It looked very surreal, you don’t realise that someone’s up there, controlling the aeroplane (or at least, trying to) and working his arse off. That much became clear to us when the plane landed and came taxi’ing up to the hangar. We could see Dennis, with a big grin on his face, was bathed in sweat. Taking four or five G’s apparently takes a lot out of you. Cool!

.: Charity and investment
There’s an elderly man, obviously of diminished mental faculties and blind, who stands at the Grote Kerk in Amsterdam every saturday with a bag around his neck in which he has a tape-deck and he plays music. He holds out a copper cup, rattling with coins to the beat of the music. I always give him something when I pass him, because I cannot bear to walk past him and not give him anything. I was happy to see that he traded his bag/tapedeck combo for an electrical organ. He made a depth-investement that will certainly pay off, I think, since the music is clearer and he looks less like a beggar and more like a street musician. I was very happy to see that. :)