Mother

My mother’s options have run out, and she is considered untreatable, which is devastating to accept. Luckily, there’s an experimental chemo-treatment that she has been offered that has had mixed results among the 20 people that have partaken so far (in Europe). Yesterday we went to talk to the doctor in charge of that research at the VU hospital in Amsterdam. We came prepared with a bunch of questions, which she patiently answered. She also gathered information about my mother, and said that she could start the treatment in a week or two if she was found to be physically capable. (There was no reason to suspect otherwise.) So she has one last shot at getting rid of the cancer in her liver.

We had a second appointment with her radiology doctor, who had treated her lung with stereotactical radiology. He was a really nice and polite doctor, and it was obvious that my mother was very fond of him. Regardless, he had some bad news regarding the latest scans. While some strange things were found on her lung, where the original tumor had been, he suspected it was scar tissue from the radiology and nothing to worry about. He was far more concerned with her head. Last week, my mother was scheduled to have a check-up on her head, to see how her brain was faring after they had removed a fist-sized tumor from there last year. Sadly, she had six different, small tumors scattered all throughout her head, and it had been decided in the short time between the first appointment and the second appointment we had that day, that this would have to be treated first before she’d be eligible for the experimental treatment.

It was decided that she’d get two sessions of radiology on her head. They can’t do the stereotactical radiology, because the limit to that option is three separate tumors, so they’re going for the full blast option. This means that even though my mother has retained her hair throughout all the treatments she’s had over the last year-and-a-half (which is pretty miraculous), it’s almost certain she’s going to lose it anyway. Whatever, right?

It was a pretty big blow to all of us, though my mother seems to be least of all affected by it. She claims she had kind of felt like things weren’t entirely in order, and had prepared for it. I spent the rest of the day with my mother, brother and sister, and random people who came to visit. At a certain point my mother said she was so happy that all three of her children were together with her. I’m going to have to spend more time with her, it seems like there’s no that much time left. The day was also spent on the phone, as my sister always sends a status update to all people interested, which meant that a good twenty phone-calls and an equal number of text-msgs came in. It surprised me how many people got so incredibly emotional, and how well my mother was able to handle them, calm them down and cheer them up. My mother is amazing. She’s the one dying, and still she’s Mother Theresa to the world. I swear, if she doesn’t get a nice spot in the afterlife, I don’t know who will.

Depending on how she feels after the radiology on her head and on how she’s doing physically, she’s going to do the experimental therapy. If she can’t, or no longer wants to (we did make all the euthanasia-paperwork in order last night), we’ll buy her a plane ticket to Italy so that she can spend some time in the sun there. She’s always loved Italy and we have friends there that she loves dearly, and one of them she hasn’t seen since all of this began. If she has to die, she’ll die with a cool tan.

The Borderforest

8th day, 1st ride, April, 1372 DR

Our night’s rest was interrupted by howling of a pack of wolves. I had only just traded my watch with one of the others and taken their place in one of the tents were had pitched. The sounds of their baying took me back to my homeland, where, before the war, wolves were considered to be the scourge of the countryside, much more so than orcs and trolls were. Large parts of Damara are nothing more than grasslands, with sparse bits of trees to contrast the wide open spaces, for rides across. They used to say that if you headed north from Steppenhall, where I was born, you could walk on grass until you reached the point where land and sky met, only encountering wind, wolves and plainstriders. When the war came, and Damara was flooded with Zhengyi’s troops from neighbouring Vaasa, goblins were seen riding grotesque black wolves that we soon learnt were called Wargs. These creatures had an intelligence and malevolence to them that was unknown in normal wolves. I always thought that they were normal wolves, trained and bread for war, but when we were attacked last night, I realise I had been mistaken. A dozen or so hungry wolves set upon our makeshift camp, most likely lured by the smell of our food, and the blood of our hunt. I briefly mistook two large ones as the leaders of the pack, until I had engaged one and truly noticed their size and cunning. While the camp erupted into a flurry of activity as everyone was contributing what they could to our defenses, I realised that I should have a talk soon with Abel, for I would greatly appreciate his leadership in all matters, not just matters of negotiation. We were all caught out fighting one or two wolves and nowhere was a concerted effort made, no formations were kept, and no attacks were concentrated on a single target. Roland was, like me, paired up with one of the Wargs, and wasn’t faring so well. I would’ve come to his aid if it hadn’t been for the stiff opposition my own enemy was giving me, and before I could reach him he fell under the onslaught of the large wolf. It seemed the only person to be doing well in the fight was Abel, unleashing angry bolts of searing hot light upon any wolf that stood in his way. There is a strange duality to him in battle; on the one hand he has to power of the sun at his beck and call, and on the other hand he’s so frail that it seems like I could punch a hole straight through his chest if it pleased me.

Eventually, we managed to dispatch all the wolves, but not without sheding some blood of our own. I was hurt and still bleeding, and so were Roland, Wren and Ebon. I had tossed the carcasses of the wolves off the ledge where we had made camp and went to tend to my wounds when I noticed Hazel was looking after the others. I had noticed her response to the scrapes and bruises we brought into the Teshford Arms the first evening back from Anathar’s Dell, and her willingness to tend to them, so I suspected she knew her way around a fleshwound or two. I wasn’t so keen to be treated by her as it would’ve meant I had to remove my armour and expose my body. My scars are mine, and I’d rather avoid explaining how I came about them. The story is incredible anyway, and I would hate to be laughed at by my companions. No, it’s best to keep them to myself.

I had considered, some time ago, to see if Abaddon would grant my his healing powers to remove the damage to my leg and torso, to get rid of the scars and repair the limp. I decided against it because it was that fateful day, north of Talagbar, where my inexperienced, undermanned contingent was vanquished by Zhengyi’s troop of Orcs, Ogre and much worse, and I was found, broken and torn, by Heron, priest of Abaddon. It was there that I felt Abaddon’s touch. In a way these wounds lead me to Abaddon, and so I shall not turn away from them, but cherish them and carry them with me until the end of my days. I might not be as fast as I used to be, I get frequent feverish spells as the pain in my legs return, and those scars still itch and throb, especially on cold days, but they were the key that opened the door and lead Abaddon into my life. He gave me new life and left me with these scars and aches to remind me of that.

The rest of the night went by without incident, though I did let Abaddon’s healing energies flow through me and into some of us who were most in need. We still have a task to fulfill, and a forest to patrol, so I believe my prayers to Abaddon were not in excess.

The following day we broke camp and continued journeying deeper into the Borderforest. It had previously occured to me that while my bandages are professional, they could be improved. While working as a medic in the armies of the Bloodstone Gate, Heron often supplied me with different herbs that prevented infection, soothed wounds and eased the pain of the wounded. While I remember many of their names (dreamfoil, earthroot, silversage, plaguebloom, wintersbite, and so forth), I never gathered them, and always handled them in their crushed form. I wouldn’t know how to recognise them, or process them and distill their useful components. Hazel’s druidic knowledge proved to be an immense source of information about the different forms of plants and the restorative qualities, and I am determined to learn what I can about these plans in order to improve upon my bandages. I realise that Abaddon grants me the power to heal wounds, minor as well as serious ones, and even cure blindness and diseases if it pleases Him, but if I am capable of a mundane way of taking care of these things, I feel I should. He teaches us to persevere, and if I were grant everyone His blessing, I would take away the honour and pride one can derive by persevering.

And so, while Hazel spoke, I listened. So did Ebon. He seemed very interested in plants and herbs that were harmful to the human body, and I’m slowly starting to get an idea of who he is and what he does. While Abaddon doesn’t perscribe a particular morality, I, myself, are only too easily reminded of how King Virdin was betrayed at the Ford of Goliad, by Felix, his lieutenant who was secretly in league with the Guild of Assassins. After King Virdin’s defeat Zhengyi and the guild leader quickly consolidated their victory by slaying many of the powerful Damaran nobles by sending their assassins to claim their lives. I have no love for death-dealers, but as long as I don’t start to get suspicious of the kid’s intentions towards me and mine he can do as he pleases.

After we had decided on a patrolling pattern through the part of the Borderforest we had been assigned to we quickly came upon a dried up riverbed. Hazel noted that the forest had turned quiet – too quiet, and we quickly went to investigate. Abel sent his cat to scout, and with a nod, Ebon was moving up the embankment to the most likely spot for ambushing. Pretty soon we discovered a Zhent camp up ahead, and we heard that piercing screech of Zandos’ flying bird overhead. It seems we were destined to meet once again.

The Zhent camp holds a handful of soldiers who are building a platform much like the one we had found during initial forray into the Borderforest. Zandos was there, but left relatively soon after we discovered them. We were trying to form a plan, but first we’d have to get more information, and so Wren and Ebon went scouting. They have just returned with a more accurate layout of the camp, and we’re now discussing what the best time to strike is.

Cloverfield

Cloverfield [2008]

Director: Matt Reeves
Actor: Michael Stahl-David, T.J. Miller, Mike Vogel, Jessica Lucas, Lizzy Caplan, Odette Yustman

Before it came out, the information that was released about this movie was tightly controlled by the production company. A trailer and several websites were already available even before it officially had a name, and the online community was going ga-ga for this film, analysing everything that was released. They put things through spectrograms were let loose on soundbytes and image enhancers on each little piece of imagery, and speculation ran rampant. It even got caught up in another viral marketing piece that got started for the Alpha Omega roleplaying game, which was considered part of the film’s marketing strategy for a long time. In short; crazy town! The film had a lot to live up to, I guess.

By now, there’s so much information out there that if I give a brief synopsis of the movie, I won’t be giving away too much information. If you really don’t want to hear or see anything about it, you’d probably not read this review anyway, so I’m just going to go ahead and do it.

I had expectations for this film. Having read all the speculation and all the coveted pieces of fact released by the production company, I got the impression that the movie was going to be different than it really was. I thought the attack on Manhattan by the beast would be better explained, while right now it isn’t explained in the slightest, which, I think, is fucking awesome. I’m a big proponent for leaving things up to the viewer’s imagination, and not just pre-masticating the entire film for the audience, so I was happy like a pig in shit.

The story is relatively simple; Manhattan, New York – Rob is about to move to Japan to start a new job. His friends organise a massive goodbye party and his best friend Hud is filming it all, getting goodbye messages from all the people in attendance to give to him as a farewell present. Just before midnight a massive explosion is heard and the entire group goes up to the roof of his apartment block to see what they can see. There’s another big explosion, sending big chucks of flaming debris all throughout the city, causing massive destruction and confusion. The entire party moves out into the street and tries to get to safety. As they get down, they hear more and more reports from others in the street about a massive monster rampaging through the southern end of Manhattan, and another piece of debris comes bouncing through the street; the mangled head of the statue of liberty. The group gets split up and tries to look for safety. Rob, his brother Jason, his friend Hud (still holding the camera), Jason’s girlfriend Lilly and another friend Marlena try to decide what to do, just when the military starts to appear on the scene, trying to orchestrate a counter-attack. And so starts a massive scramble of the group to safety, while the creature still destroys and kills its way through the city, shedding smaller creatures, about the size of a large dog, off its body that also aid in the carnage.

Wow. I mean wow. This film had my heartrate up almost all throughout its duration. The visuals, while shakey are very satisfying, even though you often just want to rewind and make sense of what you just saw, and you really get the feeling of being right in there. The glimpses you catch of the monster are usually unclear, or the view is partially obstructed by buildings, but they give you just enough to be utterly thrilled. I loved this film. There’s not much character development going on, because the story covers only a small amount of time and the characters are thrust into this extraordinary situation in which most people just huddle down and go into survival mode. The acting is pretty solid, and you really get the feeling throughout the film that you’re watching someone’s unfortunate home-video.

Conclusion; it’s a fantastic monster movie. With a twist of lemon. At the end, you might be left with a dissatisfied feeling of wanting to know more, and getting some explanation. If you’re that type of person you might want to think twice about seeing this. :)

Office Space

Office Space [1999]

Director: Mike Judge
Actor: Ron Livingston, Jennifer Aniston, David Herman, Ajay Naidu, Gary Cole, John C. McGinley

This low budget movie is, to be honest, pretty fucking awesome. However, it might not appeal to those people not either a) working in an office or b) stuck in a job that is devouring their will to live. Much like the hit comedy series “The Office,” some of the characters are so recognisable, some of the frustrations hit so close to home, that you immediately want to give up your job and seek a change in career.

The premise of the movie is fairly simple; Peter (Livingston) is a software developer working for a relatively sizable IT company. Software developer might be too lofty a term to describe Peter’s position because he’s basically a code-monkey working on the Y2K problem in various software packages. For those of you who haven’t actively lived through the Y2K hype, or aren’t familiar with software development; this means sorting through thousands of lines of code, changing a 2-digit year variable into a 4-digit year variable. I can’t imagine more mindnumbing work without thinking of factories and production lines. He spends most of his morning zoning out, pretending to work and just waiting for his day to end, and if we are to believe him, spends about fifteen minutes a week doing actual work. Bureaucracy is running rampant throughout the company, and Peter is frequently asked by his manager Lumbergh (Cole) to work on saturdays and sundays. Needless to say, Peter is dissatisfied with his job. However, he’s also not the most ambitious fellow in the world, something his girlfriend tries to remedy by taking him to a hypnotherapist.

That’s where the problem starts; he explains how he’s frustrated with his life and the therapist hypnotises him, telling him to forget about his worries and his stress. Before Peter is revived from his hypnotisement the therapist gets a heartattack and dies, leaving Peter perpetually unstressed and unconcerned with his work. And just in time for a big reorganisation of the company in which everyone gets to do job interviews for their own job. Hilarity ensues.

This movie is kind of like the club skank; cheap, easy, but a lot of fun for one evening.