Today I find myself in a little bit of inner turmoil. It was brought to my attention by several people that I should keep an online journal in which I’d tell my tales and thus in a cathartic sort of way expell a bunch of my anger and frustration and perhaps provide a bit of entertainment for those able to find their way here. When I first started my own website I had the urge to post something here that made all of you realise who I was. That you knew my real name and that you knew a little about the guy responsible for all this electronic spam. I hurriedly put up some information and have since then taken that down because I didn’t feel comfortable with so much personal information up for grabs so easily.
As I was done building the scripts necessary for this online journal, I stumbled across a picture as I was searching through my library of code snippets. A picture of a friend of mine, who had sent me an email with a picture attachment. The girl, Eva, had scanned her security badge a couple of months back and had sent it to me for reasons unknown. Now Eva used to be my girlfriend for four years and is still a very good friend today. She knows that as soon as I get a security-badge picture of someone I know [or a passport/drivers license picture, for that matter] that I completely butcher it and send it to all of our common friends. The picture I found was the butchered picture.
I had completely butchered this picture, wasting a good 50 minutes of my time photoshopping the picture into insanity, sticking Eva’s head on the body of a humonguously fat whale of a woman and I decided that I should post that again. I wanted one of those yellow-black striped “caution” pictures to put in between the “before” and “after” pictures. So I typed in at Google: “under construction picture” and scanned the results. What I found was simply horrifying.
Many people out there have erected websites in reverence to the Useless Fact God and the God of Fuck-all! There are so many people out there that have a homepage that is under construction…but permanently under construction. I mean there were things there that hadn’t been updated since 1973, for fuck’s sake! And for the love of Mike, why do people think that anyone wants to know what their cat is called, or what their favorite pizza is? I sure as hell don’t give a rat’s ass.
Now before you get all self-righteous on my ass and start sending me hate-mail saying that I basically do the same, because let’s face it; I do, I just want to say that this was after I was finished with building the journal section of this site. I might as well put it up. I also thought that I might distance myself a litte from those mind-numbingly boring websites by writing up and posting a few of my thoughts while I was at it. Wether or not you’ll enjoy these thoughts more than you might enjoy hearing what someone’s favorite Kool-Aid flavor is, is really something that is to much of a depressing thought to handle right now.
Anyone setting up a website just to post two or three “favorite pictures” that they found on the net [and can be found at any one of these moronic websites] should be taken out back and shot. I mean, if they had the idea to put up that website then they must have been completely thick. If they actually managed to put up that website, then that means that they somehow slipped through Mother Nature’s natural selection and went rogue in the land of the not-so-stupid. I think we owe it to Mother Nature to make sure that the people that haven’t died in a natural selection, darwin-esque way don’t mess up the genepool.
A waste of space…in more ways than one.
So, I’ve decided that if this section of my website won’t get enough traffic, or very little positive response from those of you that have been asking for me to do this – you know who you are – then I’ll simply close it down as fast as I opened it. I don’t want to become one of the darwin-esque “mistakes”…I don’t want to be hunted by the not-so-stupid.
