I cannot describe how hard it is to be responsible for someone else, fully and with no equivocations. I cannot describe the pain of the frustration I feel at seeing her in pain and not being able to do anything about it. I proudly push her wheelchair round, clean up after her, help her up the stairs, make sure she gets her medication, and wake up every hour during the night to make sure she’s still alright. But it’s so fucking hard, I have a renewed respect and understanding for all my sister does.
I need to go out for a run, punch something, shout or destroy something to release all of this inside of me, but I can’t let her see it, otherwise she feels even worse, and I can’t let her out of my sight, neither. When I get back to .nl I’m going to lock myself away for a while in order to decompress.
We need to go smash things.. Like, find some old furniture and smash it.
You can make it through this; stay strong. Hey, if it helps at all I’ll likely be over there the weekend of Aug 1st and am happy to offer my services as a punching bag.
You’re in the .nl again…this is getting ridiculous…again when I’m in the .nl. Maybe you should get a house in Amsterdam ;)
You mean, you two should get a house in Amsterdam. you know, settle down, get some kids.
i know it doent help one bit but you are a brother to be proud of!