My fear of abandonment has reach new and as of yet unknown heights. I just woke up from a dream in which I met a person again after not having seen him in twenty years. He made a big impression on me while growing up and when I asked him if we could stay in touch, confronted me with the cold reality that we probably wouldn’t. Now that I’m awake and analysing my dream, it makes perfect sense that we wouldn’t and I’m actually quite fine with that, but in the dream I was more than a little devastated.
I think my devastation in the dream might be the unvarnished, naked truth of how I really feel while my healthier, emotionally distant opinion now that I’m awake, might just be all my learned responses kicking in to help me deal.
There are people in your life that you never have to worry about abandoning you.
“Abandonment” is a relative term. We are all, inherently, alone. Accepting this truth removes the fear of losing something or someone, because you start to realise that everyone, absolutely everyone, is in your life only temporarily… some just longer than others. Then you can start enjoying what you have in the current moment, for how precious and wonderful it is, rather than fearing a future where you experience loss (which is just as temporary).