Anger and Frustration


This morning, I woke up early, jumped on my bicycle and got a fresh haircut. Cycled back, feeling good, went for a run, felt great. I got home, got rid of some laundry and stumbled upon my gi. It was a bit in disarray, neglected for a long time so I decided to make a tidy package out of it. As I was folding it and tying my belt around it, I started to get angry.

Due to my condition, I’m not allowed to do any contact sports due to a danger of excessive bruising and bleeding due to the blood thinners I’m on. Hopefully, I won’t have to stay on them for long, but stories have reached me about people having to be on blood thinners for the rest of their lives. Considering that possibility sends my mood plummeting through the floor. It makes me angry. It makes me furious.

And as I was tying my belt around my gi, I realised that even having to sit out for six months, I’ve already lost so much that I was looking forward to. If this hadn’t happened, I would have tied a blue belt around my gi, I’m sure. I’ve decided that whatever happens, I’m going to invest in some private lessons with the goal of getting my blue belt.

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