In April I blew my knee out. It happened while rolling. I caught someone in a calf-slicer and I couldn’t quite finish it. I decided to push the knee of my trapping leg deeper into the back of the knee of my opponent and I heard the tendons pop. I think this is the closest I’ll ever come to being Major Kusanagi as she rips her arms off her body trying to rip open the console panel off the battle tank.
Okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating. I healed up in about a month. I didn’t need another body, but still, I was unable to train for a a few weeks. I went back to training and the second class in I dislocated by elbow. That left my elbow sore, and I could train two weeks later. Then I re-injured an old injury in my neck.
A few years ago, I got injured during training. I couldn’t sit or walk without incredibly pain flaring down from my neck and into my left shoulder and arm. Even laying down was only comfortable in certain very specific positions. I was bed-ridden for three days before things started to improve. The problems lingered for a long while until I found a hernia specialist that helped me with my neck, and I started feeling better in no time. It turned out to be nerve damage. Or rather, it was a nerve that had gotten quite a beating and was overly sensitive.
So about two months ago I re-injured that same old injury. Initially, it wasn’t as bad as before, but it progressively got worse as I kept cycling to work and I started running more to compensate for not being able to train. I went to the same physiotherapist that helped me before and things steadily got better.
Then holidays came. And after that I had to go in for a little surgical procedure (which is a story for another day) that has left me with some stitches. All in all, it’s been a hell of a few months.
Now, this certainly isn’t the first time I’m not capable of training, but it has been an exceptionally long time where I couldn’t do anything, not even run or bike. And I’m starting to notice it’s taking its toll on my mood. And my sleeping pattern.
Currently, I like my job, I’m in a loving relationship, my siblings are doing well and I have no real major worries in my life. And yet, I don’t feel particularly motivated to do anything constructive — no project to keep my occupied, no goals I want to achieve or new things I want to learn. Usually I have something like that to occupy me. A story I want to write, a book I want to read, learning how to solve a rubik’s cube faster, learning how to make a particular cocktail, some project I want to code… But now, nothing. No desires.
And I’ve been sleeping poorly. I’ve never had problems sleeping and I can’t rightly say that compared to actual insomnia I am having problems now, but I tend to sleep early and wake up early. And I wake up in the middle of the night, which hardly ever happens. I think it’s a general sense of restlessness.
All in all, it’s not bad, but it’s also not good. I think the lack of exercise is really getting to me.
