“Every model of mobile phone […] has a number like this, most of them offering so many possible iterations […] that at the usual rate of product release – say, between three and fifty distinct products per line per year – the people making them will still have plenty of serial numbers left when humans are so highly evolved and so thoroughly integrated with their own technology that the idea of a phone as distinct from the organism is disturbing in the same way that carrying your lung around in your pocket seems a little freaky now.”
Author: Dennis
20/20 Hindsight
A clean slate. This has come up several times over the last few days, in different contexts, but it’s coming back to haunt me once again. This time, it’s Corrosion. I am getting the itch to start all over, from scratch, and fix some of the mistakes I initially made. Set things right. I’m not going to do that, because I realise that you’ll always keep that urge. You work, you learn, you grow, you look back and you realise what you could’ve done better. It’s also one of the traps you can get caught in. Always go back to rewrite and redo your own code and never push forward to finish anything. I just have to keep telling myself that. :)
Corrosion, Motivation, Progress
Sometimes I find myself unable to get myself to work on something I’ve been dying to work on because my schedule has been so packed that I just need some time to do nothing of any significance, just to decompress. Even though I want to work on my project, I find my mind wanders to different things. Gaming, Facebook, 4Chan, reading MMA news, anything but my project. In the past I often thought that my avoidant behavior was because I secretly didn’t want to work on my project, but upon further reflection, that really isn’t it. After having wasted about half a day doing everything but the work I wanted to do, suddenly I’ll start working and suddenly I’m getting into it. It sucks because instead of the ten hours I had wanted to work on it, I only work on it for three because the first seven hours were wasted on other things.
It helps that there’s some pressure. It helps that this isn’t a solitary project anymore. With a handful of regular players and daily activity, Corrosion has strangely attracted a few people that keep coming back, even though we haven’t really advertised its existence.
It also helps that my brother is involved. A collaborative project is much nicer than a solitary one, especially when you’re both enthusiastic about it, work on it together, come up with new ideas and develop them together. To have someone sit next to you and work in a deep voodoo team, passing the keyboard back and forth trying new ideas and coming up with new solutions is even better. Unfortunately, that’s not the level of involvement I experience from my brother. Has good ideas and likes to think along, but he’s not nearly as dedicated as I am, nor has he put in even a tenth of the time I have. He wants to be involved and he knows what he has to do in order to be involved, but he can’t seem to get himself to do it. Perhaps much like me, he needs time to do nothing of importance before getting to his projects, too, only to never really get to it.
Sure, he lacks the technical savvy, but that’s not anything that can’t be remedied with a little elbow grease. I had to start from scratch, too, and I didn’t have the luxury of asking help or advice from someone. (He’s in a privileged position, really.) No, it’s not the technical knowledge he lacks, he lacks assertiveness and the drive to do learn what he needs in order to make a bigger impact on a game we started together. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to motivate him in this regard. I guess being part of this isn’t enough.
The Future
5th day, 2nd ride, April, 1372 DR
After our crazy fight with the werewolves in the Border Forest, we finally made it back to Dagger Falls in the late afternoon. Abel decided to swing by the garrison immediately to report while I first made a stop at Dulwar’s to drop of the half plate we lifted off the Zhent a few days prior. He said he’d fit it for me for fifteen gold pieces and would require two days — his work was backing up so he didn’t have as much time. That’s also probably the reason why his prices are so damned high! That cut-throat!
To be fair to Dulwar, he’s a smith and a leatherworker, produces some fine quality and in this strange town filled with strange people, he’s quickly becoming a welcome face in my day. Abel is a good fellow, I appreciate his intellect and wit, and he makes for a remarkable conversational partner, but other than him, I don’t know if I’d choose to spend any time with any of the others. So far Dulwar and Abel are the only ones I truly appreciate, though Roland is rubbing off on me a little bit I admit.
After joining Abel at the garrison we had a short conversation with Sir Ariton Delmis, trying to decide our next move. I’ve been feeling particularly restless of late. Staying in Dagger Falls was never a long term endeavour and I have written before how Heron still occupies my ambitions. I decided I’d stay if it made sense — financial or otherwise — and Sir Delmis wasn’t really helping me make my decisions. The jobs he came up with were stale (more patrols) or laughable (finding a missing tax collector, which I refuse to do.) I asked him about the tower that stands in Dagger Falls and why it isn’t occupied, hoping to find a job there. Unfortunately, much to my surprise, Sir Delmis told us that the tower was cursed and that there was little to be done there. We decided to sleep on it.
In the mean time, Roland had taken care of our lodgings at the Teshford Arms and even managed to get us a sizable discount from Olavia in return for a performance of his. I have to admit that I slept through most of it, not because it wasn’t good, mind you, but because the hearth was warm, my stomach was full, and I hadn’t enjoyed the comfort of a cozy inn for almost a ride. During the evening a girl woke me and asked me if I wanted some company. I’m not in the habit of attracting girls with my roguish good looks so I was suspicious of her sincerity. I tried to make light of it by telling her that she wouldn’t be able to handle Abaddon’s fury and she left me to my nap. Hours later I woke up in an empty inn, cold and dark, and I went upstairs to find my room. Much to my surprise Abel was still awake, studying the potions and scrolls we had lifted from the Zhents. He showed me some of the new things he discovered and while I disapproved of his frivolous use of such powerful magicks, I was too hungry for my bed to object.
30 Day Movie Challenge – Day 12: Favourite Love Story
The problem with finding a love story that I like — forget finding my favourite one — is that most love stories I like aren’t really love stories. They use love to jump start the story, like The Crow, The Fountain or some such. So my choice for this category is probably Good Will Hunting, a story that’s essentially a love story starring a hyper-intelligent but hyper-insecure and damaged kid. It’s about the love between Matt Damon’s character Will and Minnie Driver’s character Skylar. It’s about the love between Will and his therapist Sean (Robin Williams) and the love that Chuckie (Ben Affleck) has for him, too.
Sean: You feel like you’re alone?
Will: What?
Sean: Do you have a soul mate?
Will: Do I have a– Define that.
Sean: Somebody who challenges you.
Will: Uh, Chuckie.
Sean: No, Chuckie’s family. He’d lie down in fuckin’ traffic for you. I’m talking about someone who opens up things for you, touches your soul.