journal.wiredreflexes.com

.: Mother
My mother had an operation to remove as much of the tumor in her head as possible on thursday. She came through with flying colours. She went into the operating room with a smile on her face, and she came out of it with a smile on her face. She also came out with a cool looking wound on her head, cleverly disguised in much of her hairline. It’s probably eight inches long, and there are staples keeping everything together. Eeeew! But cool. She’s like the bionic woman. She is recuperating so fast that she might be discharged today, and otherwise tomorrow. On friday we get the results back.

.: Father
Yesterday, my sister and I finished the preparations for my father’s cremation. All that is left for me is to write his eugoogely(Zoolander reference), and put a few things in his casket that need to be burned with him. Last night we drove all over to hand-deliver the invitations to the cremation ceremony. Some people were very, very distraught, but everyone was very compassionate (with the exception of one of my aunts on my mother’s side, who is notoriously selfish, and after giving us her condolances started to brag about the new backyard she was putting together.) We spent some time, and had a drink to my father, at his best friend’s house. I hadn’t seen him in a good decade, and it was so cool talking to him. He knew my father like no other, and he had such good things to say about my father. Speaking to everyone really made me get to know my father not as a father, but as the person and friend he was to those he knew, which was really amazing.

Yesterday morning I was at the hairdresser, and the owner of the place came up to me to give me her condolances. She had read the obituary, and recognised the name. She told me that she thought he must’ve been a very special man in order to have an obituary like that. He had written his obituary himself, and when I had handed it to the funeral-arranger (someone who arranges almost all aspects of a funeral, I don’t know what to call him in English), he was so happy that there was someone who didn’t go for the standard type of message.

When yesterday night my sister and I were done delivering all the invitations we went by the bar he and his group of friends had frequented for at least as long as I’ve been around (that’s almost 30 years), and we found some of his friends there (including the owner of the bar), who all came to give us their condolances. Aparently his death was “the talk of the town” and the owner had offered to open the bar earlier on the day of cremation so that everyone could retreat there after the service. What a fantastic offer. We took him up on it. What better way to celebrate my father’s passing than to have a drink with all his friends in the bar that was his second home for three decades?

Again, I’ve learnt so much about my father. As his best friend – who is a Dutch teacher, poet, painter and writer – said; “The word that described your father best is “cool,” because for a long time he defined was what cool in this area.” And looking through his photos in order to pick a photo to place on his casket for the service, I got the impression that it was such a correct thing to say about him. I never looked at him that way, but Moulsari commented after seeing the photos that he looked like a celebrity, like someone with a lot of personality and charisma. The way he looked, the way he dressed and kept his hair…he had oodles of charisma. I never looked at him that way, but I’m so glad I got to know him like that, even if it was after he passed away.

My father died at 03.15 this morning. It was both horrible and a relief.

So, when he was discharged from the hospital we got the info that it was going to take several months for him to die. On monday we heard it wasn’t several months, but no more than two weeks before he died. Today I get the call that it’s going to happen tomorrow. At least he won’t have to suffer any longer.

.: Swimming
So I just went swimming again, after a long absence of doing anything physically. I stopped Kung Fu due to my parents’ illness, and the desire to go swimming kind of went away on its own. The reason why I couldn’t bring up Kung Fu is because I train at a school in the town where my parents live, which is about an hour north of Amsterdam. If I am to go there during the week, or in the weekends, I can’t bring myself to go and teach or train instead of visiting my terminally ill parents. If it was one parent that was ill, it’d be one thing, but it’s both of them, and my father will most likely die in the next few weeks, so I just can’t do that.

I have, however, found myself strangely lacking in the discipline department lately. I’m low on energy, and easily tired. I’m also getting out of shape, and it’s going at a rate that one goes out of shape when coming to a full stop after a decade-and-a-half of excercise; fast. Arguably, I’m going through a bit of a rough time right now with my parents, and as a result of that, and the fact that I’m low on energy, I can find myself responding more emotionally, and more dramatically than I think I normally would. (Normally being a relative term to use, here, of course. It’s not every day that I get to lose both my parents.) I think that the excercise I’m getting from swimming regularly (two or three mornings a week), will help me regain the strength and energy I need to deal with this without turning into an emotional trainwreck every time something bad happens.

I did well, and did my regular routine without any trouble. I think I took a bit more time than I normally do, however, but that’s to be expected after letting yourself go like that. Moulsari helped me get up, for which I’m very grateful. It’s funny how an extra hour of sleep makes all the difference, but it makes all the difference in those thirty seconds it takes to open your eyes and get out of bed. I’m good once both my feet or on the ground. :)

.: Mother
Today my mother will be admitted to the hospital here in the Amsterdam (VU), and tomorrow she will undergo the brainsurgery necessary to remove the cancer from her head. She’s nervous, as can be expected, but from what I can see she’s doing well. I’ll call somewhere today to figure out when I can come and see her tonight. That reminds me, I also should call my father to see how he’s doing.

.: UFC
I’ve been enjoying UFC a lot lately. I’m watching the backepisodes, all the way from UFC 58 to UFC 70…or at least the ones I’ve missed over the past couple of months that I’ve been watching it. The episodes previous to 58 are kind of hard to get. Thanks to Dennis I could also get my hands on UFC 61, with the controversial second victory of Ortiz over Shamrock. I’m actually getting kind of interested in checking out BJJ, but a cursory glance at the availability of it shows no dedicated schools in the vicinity of Amsterdam.

I remember having a conversation with Josh and Frank when Josh was over a few months ago, and they both thought UFC was boring, because it ends on the ground a lot. It is undoubtedly my own limitations, but I can’t imagine why anyone would hate the versatility and options presented to the fighters. I enjoy a good stand-up fight, but a great submission, choke, slam, lock or tap-out is fine by me, too. The fighters need to be so much more than just kickboxers in order to survive even one five-minute round. It’s also a far more realistic way in which a battle is conducted. Granted, since its inception, the UFC has seen more and more rules (like barring eye-gouging and attacks to the crotch, as well as weight-classes), but it’s still far more realistic than, say, K1 or kickboxing. Pancrase, Pride, UFC, Vale Tudo, I’d much rather watch (or do) something as dynamic as that than watch boxing, kickboxing, karate or tae kwon do. To each his own, I guess.

.: Heroes
Last night I watched the last episode of the first season of Heroes. I loved it, but my love for this show has been pretty consistent throughout the season, so that’s nothing new. There were some glaring inconsistencies (which could be explained away by an apologist, so they’re not that bad), and they set everything up for a good next season. The dying of certain characters was a bit shitty, I would’ve loved to see all of them back in the next season, but I’m sure that if they keep up the quality, I’ll forget about the dead ones three seconds into the first episode of season two.

I got the feeling that they were still tweaking the story a bit throughout the first season, to see what their target audience was responding to, or perhaps it was their attempt to solidly introduce each character, but only near the end of the season, around episode 17 or 18 did it seem like they were really taking off with the overall story. I guess with the introduction as Malcolm McDowell as Mr. Linderman the story really started to take shape. I’m sure that season two is going to be a lot better structured.

I highly recommend this show. I love it about as much as I love The West Wing.