Someone to Watch Over Me (on a Google Map)
About four or five years ago, I was well-underway to become a person that closely resembles the author of the article. I had ICQ, MSN, AIM, YIM, IRC, you name it. At a certain point my life got to be way too hectic because of all of that. From the moment I got home from work I was assaulted with messages from various people, and I sometimes literally didn’t have time to cook myself some dinner. I decided, even though I had started using Trillian, which allows you to encorporate a lot of these Instant Messenger services, to deinstall each and every one of them, with the notable exception of IRC. Everyone had my e-mail address, if they wanted something, they could e-mail me, and I would respond…at my leisure. I refuse to have someone else determine my schedule.
The depersonalisation that occurs while talking online – the anonymous intimacy that the author refers to – creates some really fucked up and unhealthy relationships. There’s a large group of people out there that, literally, shuns human interaction in favour of a few words on a screen. Their social inaptitude is made worse through the Internet, because they never have to practice the skill of human interaction without the intervention of something as cold and impersonal as a keyboard and monitor. There’s a large group out there that is simply losing touch with their humanity because they no longer train themselves to recognise it in others.
I think that the article takes a satirical/facetious tone of voice.
As far as the “anonymous intimacy” is concerned, I think whether it causes depersonalisation is debatable, and a matter of who you’re asking, and how they choose to approach it. People have felt self-conscious and inadequate in social situations since the beginning of time. I’ve seen ads for beer with the tagline “Beer – helping ugly people get laid since 1862”. The internet is just another … lubricant. It makes it easier for some people to ease into social situations that they wouldn’t be able to deal with normally, similar to alcohol.
And at the same time, the fact that it is such a limited medium creates the possibility of mental intimacy a lot sooner than it happens in person. Take you and I, for example! Sometimes I wonder if we would have ever really discovered each other if we had first met in person, rather than online. But spending time talking to someone, without any physical aspects coming into play, really allows you to tap into a person’s mind, how they think and react and the things they believe in. To some, this means a lot more than how a person looks, or acts when they can feel someone watching them.
So on the one hand, perhaps people are avoiding dealing with their insecurities because of so many online interaction options. But on the other hand, it gives people who may never get over their insecurities a chance to still be the social animals that they are by instinct, from the safety of their computer.
I think it is just a kind of evolution in humans.
You might be right. The next step in mankind is a further loss of humanity. I know it’s technically an evolutionary step, because you’re shedding something you’re no longer required to have, much like our tailbones, but it feels like devolution, since all evolutionairy steps went to benefit us somehow. We lost our tailbone because we started walking upright, and didn’t need it any longer…but we’re not gaining anything by doing away with our face-to-face social skills. At least, that’s the way it feels to me. Perhaps there’s something I’m overlooking.
It’s all about balance.
In an ideal situation, there a balance between time spent alone and in company, and between time spent communicating and not communicating.
Long time ago those two were almost the same; if you were alone, you didn’t communicate, if you were in company of other people, you did communicate.
Nowadays things have changed; you can be physically alone, but still communicate all the time, via messenger-programs, with a (mobile) phone, in chatboxes, during online-gaming…
On the other hand, even if someone is in the middel of other people, they don’t have to communicate anymore, just use a headset and listen to some music, or be immersed a game on a portable game-device, and you can completely shut yourself from the outer world.
This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, but it does take some time to find a new accepable balance, one people feel comfortable with.
I sometimes find it awkward to see someone walking next to a friend while wearing a headset and listening to music, or a group of friends sitting in a group, while all sending SMS messages.
This just shows that we are not there yet, people need some time to get used to these new possiblities, and limit themselves.
We used to be limited automatically by the possibilities, but nowadays possibilities are allmost endless, so we will have to start limiting ourselves.
Problem is that that is not something that is in our nature, it is far more natural to take every opportunity we get, because all generations before us had to do that in order to survive…
I can be a bit nerdy sometimes, spending too much time on my computer (but, like you, I have no messenger programs on my PC, tried it a few times, but I never got any work done anymore…thought I was thy only one in the world without MSN!), or on my PDA, or whatever.
I do however still work (well, not at the moment, but normally I do), go out every wednesday and saturdaynight, get a lot of visit and visit other people a lot, go kitesurfing in the weekends, running with my brother, BBQing with friends…so it is possible :-)
Now all I have to do is find some time in my shedule to get some sleep… :-/