It never ceases to amaze me just how entangled my life has become with certain people. Knowing that I’ve lost them, am in the process of losing them, or will lose them in the future fills me an almost crippling fear.
I’ve always been afraid to be abandoned, to be left or to end up lonely, even though I’m very good at being alone. One of the first dreams I remember having was one in which I was being left by my parents while walking back from school. I can’t have been more than six years old at the time.
It’s been the reason for a lot of my behaviour, both good and bad. I hope people won’t judge me too harshly.