Journal

I’ve talked about it before, but for those of you who are just tuning in I’ll give a short recap; my mother’s very ill and will most likely be dying soon. I wanted to take her on a vacation one last time, to let her die with a tan on her face. I kind of explained it to everyone that it would be a nice farewell present. Immediately, many people decided they wanted to join in on the present. A bunch of donations later and I’m absolutely gobsmacked and heartwarmed at how many people want to be part of this last farewell. From really unexpected people, too. People I haven’t seen or talked to in a while. People who’ve never met my mother but doing solely on knowing me. Weird weird weird, but cool cool cool.

After some hassle with my workschedule, I finally booked the tickets for my mother’s trip. July 18th til July 31st. She’s very happy with it, and I’m getting excited.

• Mental Note: Tomorrow is Sammo’s birthday.
• [Enchant 2H Weapon – Savagery!] ftw! Oh, and it’s amazing how easy it is to play a rogue.
• Yesterday my mother was diagnosed with skin cancer and probably cancer in her stomach. Woo-fucking-oot. They’re upping her dosage of pain medication, but it’s likely it’s only going to make her more drowsy, something she doesn’t want. Her and her doctor are now seriously considering euthenasia. Her doctor tells her that she’s very much elligible right now.
• I could use a few days off. I’m tired and unmotivated.
• There’s a smoking ban on all public places here in the Netherlands that’ll be in effect a few weeks. The more I think about it, the less I’m in support of it. And I don’t even smoke. In short, I think that making it illegal for people to smoke in public places like restaurants is suppressing the liberty of smokers. If non-smokers really desire a non-smoking restaurants, then the market will take care of that. There are already plenty of non-smoking restaurants out there, although I have to admit that they often don’t advertise it well enough, so they might be hard to identify.
• The Daily Show makes me happy.
• I just got the first e-mail of one of my players tentalising me with promises of a great character concept. I am looking forward to Shadowrun more and more.
• I’ve finally gotten into The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum. It took a while for it to get going, and for me to get over all the differences with the movie (which I loved). Ludlum’s ability to create a complex, yet clear story.
• Eh,…I’ve got nothing.

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• After having downloaded and watched a documentary on Rutger Hauer, I say again that he looks so much like my father did. Not just physically, but also in mannerisms and speech.

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I’m getting excited at the idea of doing a Shadowrun campaign again. My brain’s slowly getting into gear and I’m looking forward to applying what I’ve learned in my last D&D campaign in terms of structure, logic and atmosphere.

I need to focus on one thing at a time and not try to take on everything all at once. I’m spreading myself too thin and I can’t give anything the attention it deserves. I have the same problem at work, I get distracted too quickly and I lose my flow. A little more discipline wouldn’t hurt.

Why do we, as consumers, accept that many, if not all, products we buy and consume make us ill? I’m not just talking about trans fat and corn syrup in our food, but also the use of chromium in the preparation of leather that gets used in, for instance, shoes, belts and jackets. Through abresion and use all this chromium, which is a well known and tenacious carcerend, comes out, and we breath in all this junk. No wonder were all becoming weaker and more susceptible to allergies.

The continued reluctance of doctors to make a prediction about my mother’s life expectancy is getitng to me. Her head is riddled with cancer, so is her liver, lung and there’s a suspicion that it has spread to her stomach as well. (She has a big ball right blow her sternum that doesn’t seem like it should be there.) The doctors can’t seem to give her any real answers. They are recommending another chemo-treatment, but they can’t say anything as to its effectiveness. They do know that it’s not going to solve anything, but it might prolong her time a bit. She’s also fed up with it all, and she’s considering not doing it, which I would totally understand and respect. The doctor’s reason for not being able to make any predictions? They just don’t have that much experience with people that survive as far as she has. Most people who die of cancer don’t even make it to the second chemo-treatment, and she’s already looking at number four. This week she’s going to decide on what to do, and based on that I’m going to book our vacation. It’s going to be good getting away for a while.

Almost exalted with the Sha’tar. Then it’s Lower City time and after that I need some more Caverns of Time rep. I’m currently standing at 28 exalted factions. Wouldn’t mind getting that bumped up. :)

Oh, and I totally forgot Grifter’s birthday. I suck as a friend.

The thought of losing a generation of such importance to the shaping of our world makes me very, very sad.