Health, Running, Weight

I’ve been kind of slacking on my updates the last week or two, so I thought it would be a good idea to give another update on where I stand with my health. I can be short and sweet on my health; I’m feeling good, my blood clotting times are good, and I have a ton of energy.

My weight is good, too. I’m not dropping the weight as quickly as I was before, and I’m currently btween 87.4kg (192.7lbs) and 88.0kg (194lbs), depending on the time of the day. I touched upon 86.9kg (191.6lbs) a day or two ago, but I think I was a bit dehydrated. It’s easy and I really don’t have to sacrifice much for it. I’ve given drinking carbonated drinks as much, I don’t eat so many carbs, and I don’t snack so much on garbage anymore.

Running is still a pain. I don’t like it, and I don’t think I ever will. At one point I was feeling my knees a bit during the first 5 minutes of the run, until the serotonin started kicking in. This has mostly faded now, which is good. I also had a small hamstring problem, but that doesn’t seem to affect running much.

ADCC is coming up on October 19th, and I miss grappling so much. Much more than kickboxing or even MMA. I can’t wait to get back.

Health Update

Today I woke up at 88kg (194 lbs), which is a new record since I started changing some things up. It’s been a very long time since I weighed that.

I also went running again tonight and did my fastest 3,5 km. So far I was doing it between 17 and 18 minutes, but tonight I clocked in at 16,5 minute, even though I felt like I didn’t have a very good start.

I feel much better; more energy, more speed. I can’t wait to get back to real training and see how it feels there.

Abandonment

My fear of abandonment has reach new and as of yet unknown heights. I just woke up from a dream in which I met a person again after not having seen him in twenty years. He made a big impression on me while growing up and when I asked him if we could stay in touch, confronted me with the cold reality that we probably wouldn’t. Now that I’m awake and analysing my dream, it makes perfect sense that we wouldn’t and I’m actually quite fine with that, but in the dream I was more than a little devastated.

I think my devastation in the dream might be the unvarnished, naked truth of how I really feel while my healthier, emotionally distant opinion now that I’m awake, might just be all my learned responses kicking in to help me deal.