Tag: Mental Health


This is the twentieth week of the lockdown, having worked from home and only going out for a run four times a week, and a small handful of social events. I’ve noticed that lately I’ve become more irritable, and it’s been manifesting itself in a heightened anxiety around clutter. Especially other people’s clutter where it would be inappropriate for me to interfere with it. Where normally I would make note of clutter and internally bitch, moan and complain about it, now I find it increasingly difficult to keep my mouth shut. Also, the feeling that I have when confronted with clutter has become more intense.

The same goes for particular inconveniences. Like how the tap in the kitchen sink seems to have been designed by a complete fucking idiot who had never encountered a sink before, but read a description of it in a book once.

So I do what I always do when I need advice regarding mental health issues, and I turned to my sister. I wanted to know whether this was temporary, or permanent; like due to the result of growing older, for instance. She assured me that it was likely due to have no access to the normal ways in which I blow off steam; jiu jitsu, partying, etc. I really hope she’s right, because I really don’t want to put Joasia through these moods.

Suicide, Mental Health and Gatekeeping

Someone in my family committed suicide a few days ago. It was quite unexpected, not just for me, but for a lot of people. Apparently, he had been quite unhappy for a long while with things stemming from childhood, things that he was addressing in therapy. I keep wondering what it is about one person that they can lead a life of misery, setbacks and struggle, without ever earnestly considering the thought of suicide, while another lives a relatively affluent life whose happiness was derailed during a formative period, who then decides to take their own life?

It makes me reevaluate existential pain and suffering. The human psyche is too complex to compare two situations. It makes me reevaluate a lot of the mental health gatekeeping which happens. Someone claims to have ptsd, and others jump on that person for suggesting that their pain and suffering is en par with the suffering of others who have a more “legitimate” form of ptsd, like soldiers. You simply can’t compare the two cases on such a superficial level.