I have often said that my life is like a badly written comic book. Complete with explosions, intrigue, death, excitement and kryptonite, it seems like I’m going from one incredible episode to another. While my life has shown me many of the facets that life has to offer, allowing me to learn from them, some of those facets have slapped me in face like a rough-handed pimp.
Some people call it experience while others call it baggage. Either way, your fucked.
Recently I’ve had the great pleasure of talking to a wonderful woman who not only is wonderful to talk to, but she is very intelligent and incredibly understanding. With her help I realized that in the last 14 years or so, there hasn’t been a time where things were simple and serene. I was always caught up in conflict, intrigue, helping people out, making things happen or just working my arse off for college.
I can remember two moments, both not to long ago, where I didn’t have anything on my mind. Mind you, there was plenty going on in my life that required my attention, but I just didn’t think about them.
The first was when Eva and I had first met, and her parents were on holiday and I used to sleep over. She’d go to work, while I stayed behind, playing Mahjong on her little Apple II while I could hear the birds chirping outside and the sun was shining on my back through the open window.
The second time I can remember was when Eva and I were roaming through Paris and we stumbled across the Eiffel tower. Underneath the Eiffel tower are many lawns of freshly cut grass where people sit and enjoy an afternoon in the sun. Eva and I sat down for a bit and were just lying there, completely content in watching the people.
I’m sure there were more moments where I was carefree, however I can’t remember them.
Now, people say that step one is always recognizing that there’s a problem. Step two is defining the problem. Step three is changing things in order to solve the problem or to make sure that the problem doesn’t occur again. I think I, with the help of my friend, did step 1 and 2. However, I’ve been thinking about step three, and I don’t like what it entails.
I’m beginning to wonder if I want to lead a life where everything is calm and serene. It would be nice to have a few moments in a year where I could simply sit there and worry about nothing. Have someone special close to you, or just go out dancing with friends.
That’s probably what I dislike most; one time, when Eva and I were first dating eachother, I was out with her and Marco in Amsterdam, we were walking down one of the canals at night, it was a summer’s night, we all had a really good time and I got called by a “friend” of my father that was looking for him. Marco knew what was going on, so he immediately took Eva and started walking a bit faster, while I lagged behind to talk.
Christus, I’m ranting…I had a point here somewhere and I think it was that I should find some points of rest here and there. I need a little less explosions, intrigue, death, excitement and kryptonite every once in a while.
Anyway, thank you, Elle.