The last few nights I’ve been getting good quality and quantity of sleep, and I currently feel amazing. This stands in start contrast to the way I’ve felt the last two weeks, which makes me believe I should just accept that I’m not one of those people that does well on prolonged periods of sub-optimal sleep. GIVE IT UP! Accept it and move on to a better future. :)
I have never had trouble falling asleep. I can sleep almost anywhere at any time. However, being blessed in that way doesn’t prevent me from getting a bad night sleep. The last few days I have woken up just as tired as I went to sleep. Not a good development.
I’m starting to notice just how much effect a good night’s sleep has on me. Having had a rough couple of years in which I didn’t want to sleep for reasons I won’t go into, I am what you’d call pretty sleep deprived most of the time. Nowadays, I try to sleep 7 or eight hours, and I notice that getting less than that will start to wear on me if I keep it up for too long. Sometimes it’s out of my hands, like last night, I kept waking up because I was laying on my arms and my arms kept falling asleep (a problem I have a lot the last few years) and I wake up because of the pain in my arms or the inability for me to even move them properly as I change positions.
I find that one of two things start happening to me when I don’t sleep; either I get this crazy burst of nervous energy that propells me through the day and I absolutely crash a few days later, or I get hyper emotional and everything reminds me of my parents or I somehow relate to my parents or is somehow a reflection of all the things I couldn’t do for them before they died.
I kind of like the first one and I can’t say that I’m averse to the second one either, but both sap my energy, my tolerance, my patience and make me a nightmare for the people around me.
I slept poorly for the last hour or two, this morning. I was restless due to recurring bad dreams. This time it was a variation of an oldie, but a goodie; rejection and abandonment. Interestingly enough it featured an unusual cast of people and about halfway through the dream merged with a recurring bad dream I’ve had since I was about seven years old. Let’s hope that tonight will be a bit better.